Tuesday, June 17, 2008

home again home again jiggity-jig

Howdy -- for those to whom it seemed like I vanished from the earth, that is not what happened. I went (on the spur-of-the-moment) to Louisville to see my family. So, that being said, I did not
-- get trapped underneath a collapsed pile of records
-- go see Lawrence of Arabia on a big screen for 72 hours straight
-- perish of langours
-- lock myself in a room to read all of the books in the "Twilight" saga
-- lock myself in a room to read all of the works of Epictetus
-- go on an all-5-season Wire-watching jag
-- finish my book
-- edit my book
-- make more notecards for organizing my book
-- clean my house
-- walk my dogs
-- whip up a Tournedos Rossini, accompanied by Pommes de Terre dauphinoise, with Souffle Rothschild for dessert

That being said, I'm back from Louisville, we did not blow away in a storm, and I am no further along with anything than I was when I left. :-( More soon.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

to kill a snake, one must cut off the head

So I was at the grocery the other day and they were having a sale on organic yogurt. 50 cents a cup. Okay, I'm game...plus, the other kinds of non-organic yogurts were a dollar a cup. Whatever -- it's yogurt, it's made with strawberries -- how bad can it be?

Answer: exceedingly bad. You know that scene in the movie "Big" where Tom Hanks takes a bite of caviar and sour cream and then goes ballistic trying to get it out of his mouth? That kind of bad. So I look at the ingredients list, because -- seriously, this stuff was really bad. Anyway, the bottom of the container tells me it's not spoiled, which was definitely the first thing that went through my mind. The next thing it tells me is that it's made naturally (which I had assumed, because...it's organic yogurt. Says so right on the container). The next thing it tells me is that it is flavored with organic strawberry puree. Okey-dokey. Then I look at the parenthetical ingredients for the organic strawberry puree. Strawberries (check), water (check), tomato-lycopene concentrate (che...wait, what?) . Then, finally, as I am throwing the container away (in flagrant violation of pro-animal protection, pro-recycling, green, Birkenstock-y standards), it dawns on me -- the name of this product is "Cultural Revolution." It had not occurred to me as I purchased it that in general, you probably don't want to name your delicious yogurt product after a program instituted by Mao Zedong. "Look for our other delicious products...Great Leap Forwards Tofu Bites, Year Zero Frozen Spinach Lasagna, and Glorious Proletariat brand Organic Yam Chips!"

I'm just sayin'. Let my experience inform your purchasing choices, in defiance of the running-dog lackeys of the imperialist West.
Creative Commons License
A Microscopic Cog in a Catastrophic Plan by Laura Lorson is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Based on a work at witheringexhaustion.blogspot.com.