this trend can now officially die

You know, I am a fan of pop music -- always have been. To the grave dismay of my friends and now my husband, I'm a singles kinda gal. I don't care that much about albums, unless they are
a) Exile on Main Street
b) Maggot Brain
c) New Amerykah
d) Shoot Out the Lights
e) Laughing Stock
f) The Blues and the Abstract Truth.

Anyway, I like singles. And in the 80s, I liked them even more than I do now. So imagine my joy at discovering the latest internet meme:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU

You got RickRolled! Okay, done now. Old people get it, your trend is finished. Thought I will probably still think the random playing/direction to/interruption of events with this song is kind of funny for at least another week or two.

Also? In case you were wondering? The Kareem Abdul-Jabbar blog for the LA Times is completely great. Scroll down and look for his post on why people always thought he was so angry -- this is hilarious.

it turns out this stuff does come up again someday

Okay, so you should go take this quiz. It's oddly empowering.
(click on the title of this posting, and it will link you to the quiz.)

I'm not going to explicitly brag about this, because it is after all pretty much a test for 12-year-olds, but I did quite well.

NCAA tourney brackets due soon. If you want to play along but don't know anyone to have a bracket contest with, zap me an e-mail and I'll hook you up.

Rediscovered enjoyable food of the month: Chee-tos Puffs. If you have not seen the commercial where the girl loads up some obnoxious lady's laundry with these, you should check it out.

Music of the week: New Amerykah, by Erykah Badu. It's great. Also? Elton John's Madman Across the Water.

Book of the week: The Life of Samuel Johnson.

Forecast: cloudy, chance of fog, N winds 10-15, high 52.

as a member of the grammar police, I hereby make a citizens' arrest

I read this online at blogs.abcnews.com:

"Clinton campaign finance committee member, former vice presidential candidate, and former Rep. Geraldine Ferraro, D-NY, told the Daily Breeze of Torrance, Ca., that, 'If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position. And if he was a woman (of any color) he would not be in this position. He happens to be very lucky to be who he is. And the country is caught up in the concept.'"

I refer Representative Ferraro to the following tutorial:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subjunctive_mood

Seriously, I am so sick of this election.

the academy of motion picture arts and sciences

...still has some 'splainin' to do, if you ask me, but all in all I was okay with the Oscars last night. Tilda Swinton is possibly the coolest girl on the planet, from wearing that weird Uncle Arthur-y black smoking jacket thing to wearing, apparently, no makeup, to giving George Clooney grief about his stint as Batman. I kind of wanted Julie Christie to win best actress, but everyone I know who saw "La Vie En Rose" said that Cotillard woman was amazing, so I'm okay with that. Let's hear it for Diablo Cody, who managed to look just like every woman I've seen at a Lawrence wedding in the last 5 years (i.e., bare arms with marginally inappropriate tattoos, dyed hair in a Louise Brooks bob, red-red lipstick). And Javier Bardem, taking time out to apologize for rockin' the Prince Valiant 'do in the movie role of his life thusfar. And who was that girl with Viggo Mortensen? Was it his daughter with Exene Cervenka? Because that kid is going to be the coolest girl on the planet when Tilda Swinton decides to abdicate. *** this just in: my sister informs me that the girl is Viggo's niece, Sydney. Viggo and Exene have a son but no daughters. Apparently, Henry Mortensen is a DJ, a poet, and attends Columbia University. Thanks, Wikipedia! This has no bearing on the fact that Sydney is going to be a very cool young woman when she grows up. ***

Still, AMPAS, I wanna rumble with you, because there is no way that "GoodFellas" was not the best movie that year that you all went with "Dances With Wolves." Dorks.

the secret history of mr. crankypants

Well, I just finished reading Procopius's Anekdota, and I have learned two things. Number the first: my Greek is not as bad as I thought. Another three or four books and it should be back where it needs to be. Number the second: wow, this book is one of the few I have ever read that probably should be called "scurrilous." This guy *hated* Theodora, and I'm not too sure why. I know why he was peeved about Antonina, and other sources back him up on the idea that she was a mean-spirited nouveau-riche with very little to recommend her, but seriously -- this guy completely had it in for Theodora. He seems to have not liked Belisarius much, either -- again, other sources say he was kinda insufferable, too, so I'm cutting Procopius some slack on that front. On the upside, Procopius would be far less fawning and much more entertaining on the subject of LiLo, Paris, Tara, the catastro-trainwreckasaurus that is Britney, et al, than Jezebel or TMZ.

In short, I believe that I have found the Ted Casablanca of the archaic world. There are even little moments in Anekdota that you honestly would not be far wrong in translating as "One Blind Vice."

I decided, upon finishing up this book, to take a couple days off from the Greek to work on a hat. Characteristically, I will finish it pretty much when this cold snap ends. It's being worked in Trinity stitch, which you may know as popcorn or blackberry stitch. It's a bit of a pain, but I think that's just because I'm at the point where I had to upsize the needles and add in 42 stitches to the round and I didn't leave a lot of give in the stitches I'd been working as the ribbing. Oops. Also, it appears this may end up being too small for me. (My own dumb fault -- I didn't knit a swatch for gauge.) So one of you lucky (4) readers may end up as the recipient of a charcoal-gray knitted hat with cute little knobbly deedlybobbers all over it. I'll see if I can think up a contest. Also: your head should be smaller than mine...I'm a 7 & 3/8ths, which I know from acquiring a fitted Louisville Bats cap a couple of years ago. You'd think I would have measured the circumference of said cap and knitted accordingly, but you'd be giving me far too much credit for craftiness, subtlety and guile.

Finally: I am mortified, as I spent much of yesterday announcing in dire tones that we were expecting 8 inches of snow. It appears that we are now expecting only two inches of snow. Curse you, National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration! I'll fix your little red wagon one of these days! (Picture your faithful narrator, shaking her clenched fists at the sky.) On the upside -- well, I'm not having to deal with 8 inches of snow.

Also: I decided that I will go to the Democratic caucus on SuperAmazingMegaJumboTuesday. A report will appear here. The mechanics of caucusing are unknown to me; I hope it does not involve fisticuffs. Just in case, I'm going to brush up on the Marquess of Queensberry rules. I'll let you know how it goes.

this is the Andy Rooney episode.

In honor of the writers' strike, I am going to publish a post here that involves the simple stringing together of possibly unrelated sentences. Writing is hard; why knock myself out over this? Especially while my brothers and sisters are on the picket lines? Solidarity forever!

Brr, it's cold in Kansas.
Ever wonder why it's impossible to find a shower curtain made in the USA rather than in China?
I sure do like macaroni and cheese.
I hope the Giants win the Super Bowl.
I do not plan to watch the Super Bowl.
I plan to watch the Puppy Bowl.
I think I'll tape it so on the day that Hillary Clinton and Mitt Romney clinch their respective party nominations, I can watch the Puppy Bowl again, which will cheer me up immensely.
My friend Aimee is going to have a baby boy.
Apparently they are thinking of naming him Dexter, of which I strongly approve.
My dogs Finnegan and Beatrice have lately been behaving so adorably that it is almost painful.
I wish I had a newer car, but I can't afford one.
I feel better about myself when I don't watch television.
I have been reading Flavius Josephus's "The War of the Jewish People against the Romans" and it is remarkably interesting.
I like those slipper socks that have grippers on the soles.
I decided to purchase some cheap jewelry to wear on the tv show that I host. It occurred to me that I should try to look like the people who look good on TV when I'm on TV. So that means big costume jewelry necklaces and modestly-scoop-necked shirts.
My skin is ridiculously dry. I have more lotions and creams stockpiled for this condition than the average Walgreens store.
My hair's too short.
I wish I had a really good book of fiction to read, which I had not already read.
Try as I might, I just can't seem to enjoy Victor Hugo.
I believe that I have unfairly dismissed Eric Dolphy for his avant-gardism.
I have been too lenient in my judgment of Gustave Flaubert, and too harsh against Turgenev.
I am sick of eating oatmeal.
I wish I knew how to play the cello.
I cannot figure out who is watching all of these Law & Order television series.

Wow -- it all makes sense now. I, too, could crank out columns by the bushel like Andy Rooney and Larry King. Seriously, doing it this way is a *lot* easier.

live free or die -- are those my only two choices?

well, I try to stay away from the politics on here but I just have to ask: what is up with the New Hampshire people? Over the years, I have found that I like the *idea* of the common-sense, stoical Yankee...only to find that the *reality* of these sorts of people is disappointing in the extreme. A-yuh. I once got to go to Vermont, and I was very pleased at the prospect, with high hopes for bonding with laconic, no-frills farmer types: I returned, sadder but wiser, and aware that there are a great number of high-end spas run by ruthlessly mercenary New Englanders who look like they're chiseled out of stone. Also: take the Ben & Jerry's tour. But I digress. I just didn't like the sort of "we're going to vote however the heck we want just to spite those gullible rubes in Iowa, who fall prey to television advertising and promotional flyahs. We're the first in the nation because we are sensible and smaht and we'll show you fools! We know best! Stick yah dadgum poll right up in the...no, better yet, I'll answer your goshdahned poll and lie to yuh because you non-Yankee types are morons! We know, because you ah all up here buying metric tons of those maple-sugah candies! And ovahpriced, ovahaged cheese! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha, live free or die, suckahs! See ya next Novembah!" that was going on.

That having been said: can we just get this whole thing over with? The sniping between Obama supporters and Clinton supporters is giving me a headache. The sniping between Huckabee supporters and Thompson supporters is giving me indigestion. It's almost enough to make me actually watch Nancy Grace.